Feeling like these walls that surround me and protect me from the outside elements are slowly collapsing inwardly. I try to take a deep cleansing breath and find myself grasping for more air. I can't seem to get enough oxygen. I take one step forward and the step I take seems to land in a sink hole. I try to do what's right and yet wrong only prevails. My friends and loved ones suffer the same sense of helplessness and it grieves me as if it were my own suffering.
What am I gonna do?
How can a lifetime of sacrifice for one's beliefs and giving of oneself produce so much dismay? At times I want to yell, scream, curse, spit, flail about...run away.
What am I gonna do?
At times, I smile, at times, I laugh. Yet behind these eyes are feelings of pain, loss of hope, sickness, questions of why plague me almost daily.
What am I gonna do?
As I go about my daily routine, all of these concerns have followed me, hovered over me and at times tortured me, keeping me from functioning through the most menial tasks. I've been paralyzed. Allowing circumstances around me to control my being. I've been in this, all too familiar, place before but here it is again...staring me in the face and asking...
What am I gonna do?
Sure the easy solution would be to give up! Despite the comfort and lethargy in quitting, there are no rewards! I found a quote that says, "You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right despite your feelings."
What am I gonna do?
Once again, I pick myself up, out of my pain, out of my sorrow, out of my sadness and I do what the Word commands..."I PRESS..." There is POWER in the PRESSING! I'm pushing back! I'm not allowing these walls to swallow me! I'm not going to stand still and let what's going on around me to paralyze my advancement! I am in charge of my destiny....not circumstances. I refuse to allow, once again, the enemy to sell me his bag of tricks and lies. It's true you can't change your feelings, they are real, but you can choose how you react and respond to those feelings.
What am I gonna do?
I'm choosing to get up and get moving! I'm going to move forward! Stay active! Be involved! Celebrate Life! Embrace the good things in Life and have a positive attitude towards all the negativity that comes my way. Even when circumstances say...nothing is ever going to change! This is as good as it gets! I will PRESS through those emotions and prove the enemy wrong once again!
I'm gonna do! ...do whatever I must to stay above the oppression that tries to tackle me. Today, I am taking action! I am putting my flesh aside and going through the motions. Sometimes we have to make ourselves do things, especially when we don't feel like moving, because it is the right thing! Sitting still and not moving is NOT an option! DOING is the only option for advancement and change in your life and circumstances! So I ask you...
What are YOU gonna do?
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