It's been 8 years since my life took a dramatic and unsuspecting turn. I remember this time every year, not out of sadness, but from a place of healing. It's the anniversary of the beginning of a new era. Words could not express the wave of dark emotions that engulfed me during that time. I was in so much emotional pain that it began to react in my physical body. I was so blinded by my own discomfort that I struggled focusing on my other responsibilities in life. I trudged along for quite a while, just trying to stay alive. I drank heavily and mixed it with anti-depressants, anxiety meds, experimented with recreational drugs...I really hit a very dark place. I had never experienced this kind of life. I mean I was the good girl in my younger years. I never missed curfew or drank, smoke, etc....you name it, I didn't do it! However, I made up for it during this season of my life. I'm not proud of my actions during this season, but it happened, and I can tell you now, I believe I needed to go through this to realize I didn't need these things to get through life. I went from one extreme to the other.
Today, 8 years later, I'm WHOLE! I'm not perfect, but I'm WHOLE! I have forgiven those who hurt me and used me, I am free of medical and recreational drugs, I now can enjoy wine from time to time without leaning on it to help me escape. Balance is the best choice of words for where I live now.
My kids have been such an inspiration for continuing on in this life. My Parents have walked with me through everything and remained true even during my self-destructive years. Then God sent me a wonderful man to show me I could trust and believe in love again. Ryan came along in my life, not to save me, but after I began to find balance and wholeness, as I began to believe in myself. He was just the icing on the cake!
I had support from friends, family & most of all a God that wouldn't let me go. He held on to me and never gave up on my lack of faith. It wasn't easy, and it took a long time, but now I know, this mountain...I climbed and I conquered! Now it's time to celebrate life and enjoy the journey free of insecurity, unforgiveness, and living again in full TRUST and LOVE!
8 the number of NEW BEGINNINGS!
Today, 8 years later, I'm WHOLE! I'm not perfect, but I'm WHOLE! I have forgiven those who hurt me and used me, I am free of medical and recreational drugs, I now can enjoy wine from time to time without leaning on it to help me escape. Balance is the best choice of words for where I live now.
My kids have been such an inspiration for continuing on in this life. My Parents have walked with me through everything and remained true even during my self-destructive years. Then God sent me a wonderful man to show me I could trust and believe in love again. Ryan came along in my life, not to save me, but after I began to find balance and wholeness, as I began to believe in myself. He was just the icing on the cake!
I had support from friends, family & most of all a God that wouldn't let me go. He held on to me and never gave up on my lack of faith. It wasn't easy, and it took a long time, but now I know, this mountain...I climbed and I conquered! Now it's time to celebrate life and enjoy the journey free of insecurity, unforgiveness, and living again in full TRUST and LOVE!
8 the number of NEW BEGINNINGS!
Again I want to say you might not remember me like I remember you and your family but I used to watch your kids and your nepews. I actually became pretty close to your family and Rhen, Tony & their kids. I truly am inspired by you, your life,what you've been through & the way you have dealt with it bad & good because the bad just made you a stronger person because you know you don't thing those things to get through life! I can relate to you in so many ways even though I'm a little younger and as I was going through my troubles I would always think about you & your family & how you guys were doing. I saw you out a few times & wondered how you truly were. A lot of people look up to you and are proud of you! Much Love, Tanya
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