Ever feel like you're the lifeless body laying on the table of that old OPERATION game? This is the season I am currently living. It's like I want to move but I'm hooked up to all of these machines that dictate my lying here. The machines I'm referring to...everyday mundane responsibilities that don't excite or motivate you but must be done...the clocking in and clocking out of a dead end job for some people...the daily task of making ends meet when you can't find the ends...then there are the ups & downs of those that are close to you that you wish you could fix, but you can't even get your stuff to make sense. You look at your life and you know it's not bad, compared to others, but still not where you want it to be, flourishing.
It's the constant prodding from the outside that just keeps 'ticking' you off...like the OPERATION game, for some of you who might remember...you know what I'm talking about...like when somebody else has the tool in hand and reaches in to take the parts out of the body but hit the electrical sides. That's how it feels! It feels like someone else is controlling my life...taking out things....taking out my joy, taking out my happiness, taking out my hopes & dreams. It feels like I don't have a say so, I don't have a choice, I've lost control over everything...
But then I stop myself and realize...it's Ok. It's not outside circumstances that are removing these things...it's my season of "purging." There is a scripture that says, "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." In order for me to "see" God, which means also "to understand" God...I must experience this purging season. Anything that is pure must first be purged. God is removing (purging) the things in my life that are preventing me from getting up & on with my life. I can't go to this new level until I first purify my heart, thoughts, motives, attitude, words & actions. I thought once I went through my divorce, that I had experienced the hardest thing I'd ever have to face in my life. That was just the beginning of what God wanted to use to help bring me to my next level. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe God makes bad things happen just so he can work on you or get the glory in the end. He's much bigger than that! He just takes the things that the devil meant to take us out with, and uses it to build character & strength in us for our next assignment!
I know, today I am where I am suppose to be...9/20/10...I've wallowed in self-pity and loathing for weeks now, kicking and screaming, questioning daily..."What is going on God?" I still haven't heard Him answer me audibly, but today I woke up and this scripture came to me, I believe, to help me understand why I am where I am for this time. Now, I'm Ok, knowing I'm just on His OPERATION table being purged of unwanted chattels that are hindering my next level.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
What am I gonna do?
Feeling like these walls that surround me and protect me from the outside elements are slowly collapsing inwardly. I try to take a deep cleansing breath and find myself grasping for more air. I can't seem to get enough oxygen. I take one step forward and the step I take seems to land in a sink hole. I try to do what's right and yet wrong only prevails. My friends and loved ones suffer the same sense of helplessness and it grieves me as if it were my own suffering.
What am I gonna do?
How can a lifetime of sacrifice for one's beliefs and giving of oneself produce so much dismay? At times I want to yell, scream, curse, spit, flail about...run away.
What am I gonna do?
At times, I smile, at times, I laugh. Yet behind these eyes are feelings of pain, loss of hope, sickness, questions of why plague me almost daily.
What am I gonna do?
As I go about my daily routine, all of these concerns have followed me, hovered over me and at times tortured me, keeping me from functioning through the most menial tasks. I've been paralyzed. Allowing circumstances around me to control my being. I've been in this, all too familiar, place before but here it is again...staring me in the face and asking...
What am I gonna do?
Sure the easy solution would be to give up! Despite the comfort and lethargy in quitting, there are no rewards! I found a quote that says, "You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right despite your feelings."
What am I gonna do?
Once again, I pick myself up, out of my pain, out of my sorrow, out of my sadness and I do what the Word commands..."I PRESS..." There is POWER in the PRESSING! I'm pushing back! I'm not allowing these walls to swallow me! I'm not going to stand still and let what's going on around me to paralyze my advancement! I am in charge of my destiny....not circumstances. I refuse to allow, once again, the enemy to sell me his bag of tricks and lies. It's true you can't change your feelings, they are real, but you can choose how you react and respond to those feelings.
What am I gonna do?
I'm choosing to get up and get moving! I'm going to move forward! Stay active! Be involved! Celebrate Life! Embrace the good things in Life and have a positive attitude towards all the negativity that comes my way. Even when circumstances say...nothing is ever going to change! This is as good as it gets! I will PRESS through those emotions and prove the enemy wrong once again!
I'm gonna do! ...do whatever I must to stay above the oppression that tries to tackle me. Today, I am taking action! I am putting my flesh aside and going through the motions. Sometimes we have to make ourselves do things, especially when we don't feel like moving, because it is the right thing! Sitting still and not moving is NOT an option! DOING is the only option for advancement and change in your life and circumstances! So I ask you...
What are YOU gonna do?
What am I gonna do?
How can a lifetime of sacrifice for one's beliefs and giving of oneself produce so much dismay? At times I want to yell, scream, curse, spit, flail about...run away.
What am I gonna do?
At times, I smile, at times, I laugh. Yet behind these eyes are feelings of pain, loss of hope, sickness, questions of why plague me almost daily.
What am I gonna do?
As I go about my daily routine, all of these concerns have followed me, hovered over me and at times tortured me, keeping me from functioning through the most menial tasks. I've been paralyzed. Allowing circumstances around me to control my being. I've been in this, all too familiar, place before but here it is again...staring me in the face and asking...
What am I gonna do?
Sure the easy solution would be to give up! Despite the comfort and lethargy in quitting, there are no rewards! I found a quote that says, "You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right despite your feelings."
What am I gonna do?
Once again, I pick myself up, out of my pain, out of my sorrow, out of my sadness and I do what the Word commands..."I PRESS..." There is POWER in the PRESSING! I'm pushing back! I'm not allowing these walls to swallow me! I'm not going to stand still and let what's going on around me to paralyze my advancement! I am in charge of my destiny....not circumstances. I refuse to allow, once again, the enemy to sell me his bag of tricks and lies. It's true you can't change your feelings, they are real, but you can choose how you react and respond to those feelings.
What am I gonna do?
I'm choosing to get up and get moving! I'm going to move forward! Stay active! Be involved! Celebrate Life! Embrace the good things in Life and have a positive attitude towards all the negativity that comes my way. Even when circumstances say...nothing is ever going to change! This is as good as it gets! I will PRESS through those emotions and prove the enemy wrong once again!
I'm gonna do! ...do whatever I must to stay above the oppression that tries to tackle me. Today, I am taking action! I am putting my flesh aside and going through the motions. Sometimes we have to make ourselves do things, especially when we don't feel like moving, because it is the right thing! Sitting still and not moving is NOT an option! DOING is the only option for advancement and change in your life and circumstances! So I ask you...
What are YOU gonna do?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
You ARE Chosen...IN Your Affliction!!!
My heart has been stirring all day...I can't explain why, just a stirring. I've gone about my day as usual, running errands, cleaning house, working on my PT test, yet distracted at every turn. Finally, after I got home from my gym trip, I tried to just lay down and take a nap thinking this restless feeling would pass. Since it didn't I decided to pull the Word out and just surf! I ran across a scripture that JUMPED out to me!
Isaiah 48:10, " Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee IN the furnace of affliction."
I don't know if this is for anyone else but me, but I decided it was worth thinking on and pontificating. I have so many friends and family members that are going through so much right now. It feels as if it were happening to me all over again. I've been in the 'furnace of affliction', and although I may not be walking in it at present...when someone I love is, you should just as well include me! When my loved one's suffer...I suffer.
Let me encourage any who are there...think about how GREAT God is! I mean, to CHOOSE... YOU... IN...the furnace of affliction! Let's break this down...the word furnace means to be in an enclosed structure in which material can be heated to very high temperatures...affliction...something that causes pain or suffering. You may be feeling an overwhelming sense of 'NO WAY OUT' syndrome! Saying out loud...'God how will I ever get out of this hole (i.e. situation, financial devastation, sickness, sadness, divorce) whatever your hole is. You just feel that even God can't fix your situation. You can't breathe somedays and even experience panic attacks. Let me send a little positive praise your way...
The word CHOSE means... to pick out or select. It goes even further to say, 'as being the BEST or most appropriate of two or more alternatives. You might think you're 2nd choice or 2nd best at something but hold on....you have been picked or selected AFTER a course of REJECTING alternatives! WOW!!! This means even though you have not been first choice in someone else's life...YOU, my friend are FIRST Choice with GOD! Can you believe that?!!! YOU were HANDPICKED ...IN your Affliction! In your Rejection! In and despite your Pain! Basically, at your worst!
It doesn't matter what your circumstances...what you did or didn't do! God doesn't stipulate how HE chooses...HE just chooses YOU...IN YOUR AFFLICTION!!! You don't need to be someone else's First choice, just be God's choice and you are IN!!!
YOU ARE CHOSEN!!!
Get ready to be Chosen! You may feel like your the last to get picked to play on the team, but it doesn't matter WHEN your chosen, just be GOD's CHOICE and when GOD's team wins...YOU WIN!!! Sometimes you don't even have to play in the game...just be part of the team! Think about it. World Series, Super Bowl, NBA Finals...all of these teams have key players BUT even the lowest guy on the team gets a ring if the team wins!
YOU WIN...just because you're on the TEAM!!! You may not have the strength to play, you may be too injured to get in the game, but God has included you on the winning team and you get the prize in the end!
Hang in There! God's not finished with you yet!!!
YOU ARE CHOSEN!!!
Isaiah 48:10, " Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee IN the furnace of affliction."
I don't know if this is for anyone else but me, but I decided it was worth thinking on and pontificating. I have so many friends and family members that are going through so much right now. It feels as if it were happening to me all over again. I've been in the 'furnace of affliction', and although I may not be walking in it at present...when someone I love is, you should just as well include me! When my loved one's suffer...I suffer.
Let me encourage any who are there...think about how GREAT God is! I mean, to CHOOSE... YOU... IN...the furnace of affliction! Let's break this down...the word furnace means to be in an enclosed structure in which material can be heated to very high temperatures...affliction...something that causes pain or suffering. You may be feeling an overwhelming sense of 'NO WAY OUT' syndrome! Saying out loud...'God how will I ever get out of this hole (i.e. situation, financial devastation, sickness, sadness, divorce) whatever your hole is. You just feel that even God can't fix your situation. You can't breathe somedays and even experience panic attacks. Let me send a little positive praise your way...
The word CHOSE means... to pick out or select. It goes even further to say, 'as being the BEST or most appropriate of two or more alternatives. You might think you're 2nd choice or 2nd best at something but hold on....you have been picked or selected AFTER a course of REJECTING alternatives! WOW!!! This means even though you have not been first choice in someone else's life...YOU, my friend are FIRST Choice with GOD! Can you believe that?!!! YOU were HANDPICKED ...IN your Affliction! In your Rejection! In and despite your Pain! Basically, at your worst!
It doesn't matter what your circumstances...what you did or didn't do! God doesn't stipulate how HE chooses...HE just chooses YOU...IN YOUR AFFLICTION!!! You don't need to be someone else's First choice, just be God's choice and you are IN!!!
YOU ARE CHOSEN!!!
Get ready to be Chosen! You may feel like your the last to get picked to play on the team, but it doesn't matter WHEN your chosen, just be GOD's CHOICE and when GOD's team wins...YOU WIN!!! Sometimes you don't even have to play in the game...just be part of the team! Think about it. World Series, Super Bowl, NBA Finals...all of these teams have key players BUT even the lowest guy on the team gets a ring if the team wins!
YOU WIN...just because you're on the TEAM!!! You may not have the strength to play, you may be too injured to get in the game, but God has included you on the winning team and you get the prize in the end!
Hang in There! God's not finished with you yet!!!
YOU ARE CHOSEN!!!
You ARE Chosen...IN Your Affliction!!!
My heart has been stirring all day...I can't explain why, just a stirring. I've gone about my day as usual, running errands, cleaning house, working on my PT test, yet distracted at every turn. Finally, after I got home from my gym trip, I tried to just lay down and take a nap thinking this restless feeling would pass. Since it didn't I decided to pull the Word out and just surf! I ran across a scripture that JUMPED out to me!
Isaiah 48:10, " Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee IN the furnace of affliction."
I don't know if this is for anyone else but me, but I decided it was worth thinking on and pontificating. I have so many friends and family members that are going through so much right now. It feels as if it were happening to me all over again. I've been in the 'furnace of affliction', and although I may not be walking in it at present...when someone I love is, you should just as well include me! When my loved one's suffer...I suffer.
Let me encourage any who are there...think about how GREAT God is! I mean, to CHOOSE... YOU... IN...the furnace of affliction! Let's break this down...the word furnace means to be in an enclosed structure in which material can be heated to very high temperatures...affliction...something that causes pain or suffering. You may be feeling an overwhelming sense of 'NO WAY OUT' syndrome! Saying out loud...'God how will I ever get out of this hole (i.e. situation, financial devastation, sickness, sadness, divorce) whatever your hole is. You just feel that even God can't fix your situation. You can't breathe somedays and even experience panic attacks. Let me send a little positive praise your way...
The word CHOSE means... to pick out or select. It goes even further to say, 'as being the BEST or most appropriate of two or more alternatives. You might think you're 2nd choice or 2nd best at something but hold on....you have been picked or selected AFTER a course of REJECTING alternatives! WOW!!! This means even though you have not been first choice in someone else's life...YOU, my friend are FIRST Choice with GOD! Can you believe that?!!! YOU were HANDPICKED ...IN your Affliction! In your Rejection! In and despite your Pain! Basically, at your worst!
It doesn't matter what your circumstances...what you did or didn't do! God doesn't stipulate how HE chooses...HE just chooses YOU...IN YOUR AFFLICTION!!! You don't need to be someone else's First choice, just be God's choice and you are IN!!!
YOU ARE CHOSEN!!!
Get ready to be Chosen! You may feel like your the last to get picked to play on the team, but it doesn't matter WHEN your chosen, just be GOD's CHOICE and when GOD's team wins...YOU WIN!!! Sometimes you don't even have to play in the game...just be part of the team! Think about it. World Series, Super Bowl, NBA Finals...all of these teams have key players BUT even the lowest guy on the team gets a ring if the team wins!
YOU WIN...just because you're on the TEAM!!! You may not have the strength to play, you may be too injured to get in the game, but God has included you on the winning team and you get the prize in the end!
Hang in There! God's not finished with you yet!!!
Isaiah 48:10, " Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee IN the furnace of affliction."
I don't know if this is for anyone else but me, but I decided it was worth thinking on and pontificating. I have so many friends and family members that are going through so much right now. It feels as if it were happening to me all over again. I've been in the 'furnace of affliction', and although I may not be walking in it at present...when someone I love is, you should just as well include me! When my loved one's suffer...I suffer.
Let me encourage any who are there...think about how GREAT God is! I mean, to CHOOSE... YOU... IN...the furnace of affliction! Let's break this down...the word furnace means to be in an enclosed structure in which material can be heated to very high temperatures...affliction...something that causes pain or suffering. You may be feeling an overwhelming sense of 'NO WAY OUT' syndrome! Saying out loud...'God how will I ever get out of this hole (i.e. situation, financial devastation, sickness, sadness, divorce) whatever your hole is. You just feel that even God can't fix your situation. You can't breathe somedays and even experience panic attacks. Let me send a little positive praise your way...
The word CHOSE means... to pick out or select. It goes even further to say, 'as being the BEST or most appropriate of two or more alternatives. You might think you're 2nd choice or 2nd best at something but hold on....you have been picked or selected AFTER a course of REJECTING alternatives! WOW!!! This means even though you have not been first choice in someone else's life...YOU, my friend are FIRST Choice with GOD! Can you believe that?!!! YOU were HANDPICKED ...IN your Affliction! In your Rejection! In and despite your Pain! Basically, at your worst!
It doesn't matter what your circumstances...what you did or didn't do! God doesn't stipulate how HE chooses...HE just chooses YOU...IN YOUR AFFLICTION!!! You don't need to be someone else's First choice, just be God's choice and you are IN!!!
YOU ARE CHOSEN!!!
Get ready to be Chosen! You may feel like your the last to get picked to play on the team, but it doesn't matter WHEN your chosen, just be GOD's CHOICE and when GOD's team wins...YOU WIN!!! Sometimes you don't even have to play in the game...just be part of the team! Think about it. World Series, Super Bowl, NBA Finals...all of these teams have key players BUT even the lowest guy on the team gets a ring if the team wins!
YOU WIN...just because you're on the TEAM!!! You may not have the strength to play, you may be too injured to get in the game, but God has included you on the winning team and you get the prize in the end!
Hang in There! God's not finished with you yet!!!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Oh Brother...
Next week will be my younger brother's 41st Birthday. I was thinking about him and how much time has flown by since we were little tikes running around the church parsonages we lived in growing up in Texas and Louisiana. Scott was born in Wharton, TX is 6'2" and has blonde hair and blue eyes. The complete opposite of me. We were very different in personalities growing up. The one thing we did share in common, was church and always having people watch every move you make. We did a lot of wonderful things, growing up together, but our relationship wasn't without conflict. I was considered, 'little miss perfect' to him and that met with many arguments and much drama. Our relationship was quite tumultuous. I didn't really consider us very close because of our differences. As time went by and we both moved on with our lives, we worked together at times and then we went our separate ways. There were moments where we loved each other so much we would hurt anyone who tried to come between us. Then there were times when we couldn't stand being in the same room together and wouldn't speak for months.
Our lives have experienced many ups & downs, together, as well as, separately. I must confess, my roller coaster of emotions with my brother have ranged from anger, hurt, pain, love, compassion and every other feeling that is possibly known to man.
The one thing that I have learned, as I'm maturing in life, is how to appreciate the GREATNESS of my brother, and not the things that irritate me. My brother is truly a GREAT Man. I've seen him with his sons and I've watched how he has been such a wonderful Father to them. He loves his sons and would do anything for them. My brother, is a GREAT Son. He has a special bond with my Mom. He was the only one in the house that could get away with ANYTHING and didn't get his mouth washed out with soap...lol. Mom always had a 'sweet spot' for him, and he always knows how to make her laugh and still blush. Scott's bond with my Dad is also very unique, in that, they can sit and discuss the 'deep' things of the Bible for hours. My brother has such a keen memory of the past it is eerily scary. He remembers people, places, events, dates....you name it! He'll bring up memories from over 25 years ago and just amaze me at his accuracy of that event. He is a GREAT uncle. My kids, love Uncle Scott. He has irritated them and made them laugh all at the same time. He never meets a stranger and is never without words. The unique comic side to him is astounding! My brother is one of the funniest people I have ever known. He is handsome, dedicated, comedic, faithful, spiritual, supportive, loving but most of all he is my Brother. He's defended me so many times, even when I wasn't aware.
Life has truly been a rough road for him, but the thing I appreciate the most is the fact, he's not given up. You know, someone you love may not always choose the road you pick for them or live their life the way you think they should. However, it is their life and not yours. It is their way! I've learned to do what the Bible says....'shut up and march'! God uses different people in different ways. We may be completely different in a lot of ways, but we share the same blood line and I Love my brother VERY much! I am proud of his determination to fight for his life!
Choose today to focus on the positives of loved ones in your life, and not the negatives. Sometimes we have a tendency to be harder on those that are closer to our lives than we are with those we don't even know. I don't know why that is, but we should extend the same grace & mercy. We are not perfect, so we should not expect our loved ones to be perfect. Embrace the POSITIVE and focus on the GREAT attributes of your loved ones. Sometimes you are the very key that is needed for their recovery. I'm guilty of not always being there for my loved ones, but I'm trying to change that in my life now. I'm not perfect but I'm always trying to be better. Choose LOVE for those who need you. If you've pushed family members away because you disagree with their choices in life, make a decision to change. Life is too short to carry grudges and harbor bad feelings. You don't have to agree with them, but you do need to love them and extend God's hand of mercy.
Our lives have experienced many ups & downs, together, as well as, separately. I must confess, my roller coaster of emotions with my brother have ranged from anger, hurt, pain, love, compassion and every other feeling that is possibly known to man.
The one thing that I have learned, as I'm maturing in life, is how to appreciate the GREATNESS of my brother, and not the things that irritate me. My brother is truly a GREAT Man. I've seen him with his sons and I've watched how he has been such a wonderful Father to them. He loves his sons and would do anything for them. My brother, is a GREAT Son. He has a special bond with my Mom. He was the only one in the house that could get away with ANYTHING and didn't get his mouth washed out with soap...lol. Mom always had a 'sweet spot' for him, and he always knows how to make her laugh and still blush. Scott's bond with my Dad is also very unique, in that, they can sit and discuss the 'deep' things of the Bible for hours. My brother has such a keen memory of the past it is eerily scary. He remembers people, places, events, dates....you name it! He'll bring up memories from over 25 years ago and just amaze me at his accuracy of that event. He is a GREAT uncle. My kids, love Uncle Scott. He has irritated them and made them laugh all at the same time. He never meets a stranger and is never without words. The unique comic side to him is astounding! My brother is one of the funniest people I have ever known. He is handsome, dedicated, comedic, faithful, spiritual, supportive, loving but most of all he is my Brother. He's defended me so many times, even when I wasn't aware.
Life has truly been a rough road for him, but the thing I appreciate the most is the fact, he's not given up. You know, someone you love may not always choose the road you pick for them or live their life the way you think they should. However, it is their life and not yours. It is their way! I've learned to do what the Bible says....'shut up and march'! God uses different people in different ways. We may be completely different in a lot of ways, but we share the same blood line and I Love my brother VERY much! I am proud of his determination to fight for his life!
Choose today to focus on the positives of loved ones in your life, and not the negatives. Sometimes we have a tendency to be harder on those that are closer to our lives than we are with those we don't even know. I don't know why that is, but we should extend the same grace & mercy. We are not perfect, so we should not expect our loved ones to be perfect. Embrace the POSITIVE and focus on the GREAT attributes of your loved ones. Sometimes you are the very key that is needed for their recovery. I'm guilty of not always being there for my loved ones, but I'm trying to change that in my life now. I'm not perfect but I'm always trying to be better. Choose LOVE for those who need you. If you've pushed family members away because you disagree with their choices in life, make a decision to change. Life is too short to carry grudges and harbor bad feelings. You don't have to agree with them, but you do need to love them and extend God's hand of mercy.
Monday, August 2, 2010
What's in your DIET?
I was working out in the gym today when I started thinking about this whole process that's consumed my life. Physical exercise is important for your mental, as well as, physical well-being. You can pick up magazines anywhere and just about any magazine you find will have some section on how to get fit. They'll give you sample exercises and show you how to execute those specific exercises. Almost each article you find, you'll also see a section on a healthier diet plan to follow with the specific workout. At the gym, you have all types that come to get their workout on. Many faces, in my gym, I've seen for the past few years as I come to execute my own fitness regimen. Some of these people look the same now as they did a few years back. Having never changed in their size. Others, have changed dramatically. I thought about this and remembered in my studying for my Nutrition exam, that physical exercise is a smaller percentage of achieving your fitness goal than Diet. Diet is the main source for transforming a person's physique. You can go to the gym and workout everyday, and you may even lose a few pounds. However, your diet is what makes up the MAIN difference. Diet is EVERYTHING!!! What you put in your body, ultimately determines your physical outcome.
As I pondered this thought, I paralleled this with the spiritual. Let's take FAITH...the Bible tells us to exercise our FAITH. So we do. We 'call those things that are not, as though they are'....we claim things 'in Jesus' Name'...we tell people, when we don't feel well, that we are Healed...we speak positive thoughts believing what we say will come to pass if we believe. These things are all TRUE! I stand by them. I've confessed them myself. But what I came to realize is that no matter how much you confess and claim and exercise our faith...none of this matters if we don't focus MORE on what we're putting in our spirit. I'm saying this...by feeding your spirit, with the right DIET, you have to spend more alone time with God. One on One. More time in HIS Word, with no distractions. Watch who you allow to hang out with you. Who are you spending time with and do they add to or subtract from the spirit of God in you. What you allow in your spirit, by way of, people and spending time in the Word is your spiritual DIET. It will either, keep you where you are, or bring you to another level spiritually and then the FAITH that you possess will work for you.
You see, in the gym, some people just spin their wheels on cardio machines because nothing changes physically. Their just going in circles because their diets don't change. So we, as Believers must change our DIETS, spiritually speaking. Change what we allow into our World!
Maybe, just maybe, the reason some of our prayers and professions of FAITH haven't been answered or met just yet is because of our DIETS. What have you allowed in your spirit lately? Does it nourish your spirit or just make you fat?
Just a thought...
As I pondered this thought, I paralleled this with the spiritual. Let's take FAITH...the Bible tells us to exercise our FAITH. So we do. We 'call those things that are not, as though they are'....we claim things 'in Jesus' Name'...we tell people, when we don't feel well, that we are Healed...we speak positive thoughts believing what we say will come to pass if we believe. These things are all TRUE! I stand by them. I've confessed them myself. But what I came to realize is that no matter how much you confess and claim and exercise our faith...none of this matters if we don't focus MORE on what we're putting in our spirit. I'm saying this...by feeding your spirit, with the right DIET, you have to spend more alone time with God. One on One. More time in HIS Word, with no distractions. Watch who you allow to hang out with you. Who are you spending time with and do they add to or subtract from the spirit of God in you. What you allow in your spirit, by way of, people and spending time in the Word is your spiritual DIET. It will either, keep you where you are, or bring you to another level spiritually and then the FAITH that you possess will work for you.
You see, in the gym, some people just spin their wheels on cardio machines because nothing changes physically. Their just going in circles because their diets don't change. So we, as Believers must change our DIETS, spiritually speaking. Change what we allow into our World!
Maybe, just maybe, the reason some of our prayers and professions of FAITH haven't been answered or met just yet is because of our DIETS. What have you allowed in your spirit lately? Does it nourish your spirit or just make you fat?
Just a thought...
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Letting Go...
It's that time of life again...letting go. When my babies were young, they reached a point where they could stand on their own two feet and wanted to explore their own little world. So, I put them down and taught them how to walk and I held their hands as they found their footing. When they discovered they didn't need to hold my hands anymore they let go and off they went.
Next, there was school. Preschool, awe, I'll never forget. It was harder on me than it was on them. I cried for days the first time I had to drop them off for school. They were so excited with their new backpacks, colors, new shoes and clothes. It was so cute but made me sad they were getting so big and independent, but I learned they needed that interaction with other kids to help them begin to learn how to get along with others and follow instruction and teaching from someone else besides me.
Then there came the day, the dreaded age of 16 when, now it's time to get the Driver's License. I was so nervous. As I drove each of them, respectively, on their 16th birthday to the DMV. I sat in the chair and watched them take their exams, then their picture for the license, then out the door with the person that would take them on their driving test. I chewed my nails and fidgeted in my chair the whole time until they got the "OK, you've passed" sign. I left the DMV with a knot in my throat and sweat dripping from my forehead. I thought, man, this is it, their grown I guess I've faced the biggest obstacles I'm going to face as a mother for awhile.
High School came and went and before I knew it, graduation. I took a deep breath and said, well, you did it! You got them through all of their major changes and obstacles. You can rest now and enjoy life. BAM! I was SO wrong! I was blind sided. The dreaded, Mom, "I'm moving out". I knew it was going to come one day, I just didn't expect it so soon. One day I'm holding their hands teaching them how to walk and before you know it, their telling me I'm moving out, Mom and on my own.
What do you do when your whole life has been having and raising kids? I mean, I had a life that was mine before kids, but I don't remember much about that time. It has faded in my memory, because my kids have consumed so much of my life. I've spent more years with them, than I've ever had by myself. It's like in the blink of an eye, the chaos and constant slamming of doors, the 'Mom, do we have anything to eat?', or 'Mom would you bake me some cookies?', and the 'could you wash this for me', 'would you sign this for me', or 'I need new clothes/shoes', 'I need money for gas', 'can we go...'.....the questions and requests could go on for decades. You think to yourself when all of these busy times are happening, when will this end? Then when it does, there's a tremendous overwhelming SILENCE. Your left with nothing but you and your thoughts.
The day my two moved out and on their own, the difference for me was, I couldn't stand over them and hold their hands to help maneuver there way to protect them from objects that could harm them. I have done my part. I've taught them all I know that is right and tried to instill the things that make up a man and woman of character. I've exhausted my strength in them. When they moved out I felt like pieces of me were shattered, and once again, I wanted to just crawl up into a ball and just cry.
The past few weeks have been very trying and mentally exhausting. I've tried to wrap my brain around why I feel like this when I know it's part of life....letting go. But, I must tell you I DON'T LIKE IT!!! God has been speaking to me though, during this quietness. I'm learning that those kids don't belong to me. They were sent to me on loan. God used my womb to bring them into the world and rewarded me by allowing me to share their formative years with them and help direct their paths for life. Oh, I know they're not going to leave me forever, but they are grown and starting their lives and finding their footing again. I have to let them go. I have to step back and allow them to start making their own choices, not mine...no matter how difficult. Sure, I want to go by their apartments/condo and drop in on them. Sure, I want to call them all day and find out where they are, what they're doing and who is with them. Absolutely, I want to be all 'up in their kool aid'...lol (as my Aunt Babu would say).
It's time, though, for me to LET GO! Not walk out, just LET GO! If I continue to hold on, then God won't be able to put His hand on them and guide and direct them into their future. I don't want them to do what I choose, but rather, what God desires for them. Today, I'm LETTING GO. I'm kicking and screaming, but I'm LETTING GO and Letting God!
Breathe in, Breathe out!
Next, there was school. Preschool, awe, I'll never forget. It was harder on me than it was on them. I cried for days the first time I had to drop them off for school. They were so excited with their new backpacks, colors, new shoes and clothes. It was so cute but made me sad they were getting so big and independent, but I learned they needed that interaction with other kids to help them begin to learn how to get along with others and follow instruction and teaching from someone else besides me.
Then there came the day, the dreaded age of 16 when, now it's time to get the Driver's License. I was so nervous. As I drove each of them, respectively, on their 16th birthday to the DMV. I sat in the chair and watched them take their exams, then their picture for the license, then out the door with the person that would take them on their driving test. I chewed my nails and fidgeted in my chair the whole time until they got the "OK, you've passed" sign. I left the DMV with a knot in my throat and sweat dripping from my forehead. I thought, man, this is it, their grown I guess I've faced the biggest obstacles I'm going to face as a mother for awhile.
High School came and went and before I knew it, graduation. I took a deep breath and said, well, you did it! You got them through all of their major changes and obstacles. You can rest now and enjoy life. BAM! I was SO wrong! I was blind sided. The dreaded, Mom, "I'm moving out". I knew it was going to come one day, I just didn't expect it so soon. One day I'm holding their hands teaching them how to walk and before you know it, their telling me I'm moving out, Mom and on my own.
What do you do when your whole life has been having and raising kids? I mean, I had a life that was mine before kids, but I don't remember much about that time. It has faded in my memory, because my kids have consumed so much of my life. I've spent more years with them, than I've ever had by myself. It's like in the blink of an eye, the chaos and constant slamming of doors, the 'Mom, do we have anything to eat?', or 'Mom would you bake me some cookies?', and the 'could you wash this for me', 'would you sign this for me', or 'I need new clothes/shoes', 'I need money for gas', 'can we go...'.....the questions and requests could go on for decades. You think to yourself when all of these busy times are happening, when will this end? Then when it does, there's a tremendous overwhelming SILENCE. Your left with nothing but you and your thoughts.
The day my two moved out and on their own, the difference for me was, I couldn't stand over them and hold their hands to help maneuver there way to protect them from objects that could harm them. I have done my part. I've taught them all I know that is right and tried to instill the things that make up a man and woman of character. I've exhausted my strength in them. When they moved out I felt like pieces of me were shattered, and once again, I wanted to just crawl up into a ball and just cry.
The past few weeks have been very trying and mentally exhausting. I've tried to wrap my brain around why I feel like this when I know it's part of life....letting go. But, I must tell you I DON'T LIKE IT!!! God has been speaking to me though, during this quietness. I'm learning that those kids don't belong to me. They were sent to me on loan. God used my womb to bring them into the world and rewarded me by allowing me to share their formative years with them and help direct their paths for life. Oh, I know they're not going to leave me forever, but they are grown and starting their lives and finding their footing again. I have to let them go. I have to step back and allow them to start making their own choices, not mine...no matter how difficult. Sure, I want to go by their apartments/condo and drop in on them. Sure, I want to call them all day and find out where they are, what they're doing and who is with them. Absolutely, I want to be all 'up in their kool aid'...lol (as my Aunt Babu would say).
It's time, though, for me to LET GO! Not walk out, just LET GO! If I continue to hold on, then God won't be able to put His hand on them and guide and direct them into their future. I don't want them to do what I choose, but rather, what God desires for them. Today, I'm LETTING GO. I'm kicking and screaming, but I'm LETTING GO and Letting God!
Breathe in, Breathe out!
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