Encourage Yourself!

Sometimes life can be overwhelming. It seems lately that so many are suffering because of the economy, battling life threatening illnesses or making major life changes, at least in the lives of some of my close friends and family. I think back on a time not too long ago when my world was so dark that even a night light would have been welcoming. I couldn't hardly even breathe on my own. I relied on medications, alcohol and even experimented with other things just thinking something might work to change my circumstances. I blamed God, people, my parents, my occupation...you name it I blamed it. The very Word that I was raised on, I was bitter towards. However, for some reason, even in my pain and dark room experience, I still went to the Word of God. I can't explain it, the whole time I'm reading I'm angry. One day, while I was reading I was reminded of a scripture that basically, 'kicked me in the tush'. I Samuel 30:6, "and David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David ENCOURAGED himself in the Lord his God." See, David didn't wait for his circumstances to change. He started with himself! A wise old Preacher once told me, 'the war may not end around you, but it can end within you.' I was at war with myself, my emotions, my mind and soul, not the circumstances. I had to come to the realization that although things may not change on the outside, I had to change some things and self-destructive behaviors on the inside of me. I was so ashamed and felt like such a loser for that time of my life. But, God, through His Grace & Mercy, rewrote my life. He helped me, Help Me! The change had to come from within myself. If my circumstances got better, then my attitude and behavior may have been better for a season, but ultimately the complete healing in my mind and heart would not be permanent. You see, now, when things aren't the way I'd like them to be around me, it doesn't altar who I am anymore. I don't run to the destructive behavior that once consumed me. Oh, I may have a down day or two, but I don't react to the circumstances in the same way. I have Hope now. It only came because, I encouraged myself!

You may not be able to stop that divorce from happening, it may be best if you didn't anyway. Or, you may not be able to remove the tumor in your head, or speak the cancer out of your body, or save your kids from themselves. But, you can encourage yourself to be a stronger, better person, and when you do, I have good news... the scripture goes on to say in Verse 8, "and David, enquired at the Lord, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, PURSUE: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover ALL."

It's your time to RECOVER ALL...start with yourself!

This Too Shall Pass...

It is so nice to see the Sun again. Physically, as well as, spiritually and emotionally. There was such a dark time in my life, not even a sunny day could bring a spring in my step. Thank God that he has opened my eyes to life again. It's important to know that a single person or a single moment or a revelation didn't get me to this place I'm in today. It was a process, a journey. I've not experienced an 'overnight' or 'instant' deliverance from my situation. Rather, God allowed me the process in order that I might appreciate more, what I have now. I remember the days of walking out in my back yard and yelling at God...'do you even exist?'...'why did you do this to me after all of the years I gave you my life?'...'do You even love me?'...'the God I've served for all of these years would never do this to his child?'...the questions could go on. If you've ever thought of it...I asked it out loud. I went on some kind of journey. In the end, and it's not over yet, it was all worth it. I couldn't understand it in the middle of my mess, but looking back now, it has given me strength, foundation, hope, forgiveness more for others, life lessons...basically, a better me! The ME He formed me in the womb to BE!

If I can encourage anyone today that reads this...it would be...Don't rush the process! Hang in there! I can't tell you how many times I hated hearing people say that, but it's true! There is Life after Death...figuratively speaking. There is a Rainbow after the Rain! There is a Donkey you can ride out on among the 'dung' that is around you. Don't let your circumstance define you! Don't allow your circumstances to turn you into a victim! Fight for soul through the process and most importantly, Let God do His Thing! This is only a Season...This too shall pass!

Perception

I'm looking out over the Lake in my backyard and thinking about how my day would have started just a few years ago during my divorce and the darkest point in my life. I'd wake up, take my anti-depressant medication (Zoloft and Wellbutrin), then lay back down and just let the weight of my life overwhelm me. I knew I should be up moving and doing things around the house, but I was literally paralyzed. I felt so alone and lost. Everything I thought my life was suppose to turn out to be was just a cloud of dust that blew away overnight. How could this woman that was once so strong and independent thinking get to this point without noticing where I was headed. It seemed like there was no way out of this darkness...all I know is today 3/24/10...the darkness is gone, the meds were given up a little over 3 yrs. ago and I have once again reclaimed the strength and confidence that had disappeared for so long. Where I would have only seen a Lake that I could just jump in and drown my pain, I now see a Lake that I can get in a boat and row myself across. PERCEPTION...it's what we all need to overcome! How do you perceive your problems? You can either see a Lake to drown yourself in or get in the boat and row yourself across to the other side. Not a profound analogy but something that jumped out to me today. It is a beautiful Day! I now see with clarity and smell the fresh air!