Learning to say No

Why is it when we stand up for ourselves, some call this selfish?  One should have the right to draw a line in their personal life and say ENOUGH!  If you don't look out for you, who else will?  For most of us, we've been taught all our lives to believe in ourselves and trust our hearts and make decisions that are in our best interest.  However, when we do, the opposite happens.  We are perceived as being self-centered, not caring, and selfish.  

Time to stop walking on 'pins & needles', I say.  I'm already contemplating the New Year and what I desire to better myself.  One of the areas I need to cultivate is the area of saying, No, to some things.  We can be so tuned in to saying Yes to everyone we want to make a good impression on, that we neglect ourselves and our own personal beliefs and standards.

It's OK to set personal boundaries.  It's OK to say No sometimes.  Trust your intuition (spirit man), it's in you for a reason.  God didn't call you to save everyone!  He sent His only son, Jesus to die on the cross for that reason.  He called us, so that the World might be saved through our testimony and gentle journey on a daily basis with Him.  I'm learning more and more each day, that I am more effective for my family and friends, when I live my life as it would please the Lord and not man.  Sometimes, I catch myself saying Yes to many things I am not required to say Yes too.  I step back, look at my priorities, then organize them in a way that pleases the Father and not others.  In the end, we are responsible for us!  

Remember, you can't save everyone, but, you can save YOU!  By saving yourself, you help others.  As crazy as it might sound, it really is true.  Don't let others allow you to feel condemnation for not being readily available at their moments notice.  Listen for God's voice in your life, and he will direct your path.  You'll witness frustration, anxiety and anger begin to fall off your life as you shake those things loose that you've said Yes to for so long, that now you are saying No.  

No is not always a bad word.  It can actually save you years of frustration.  Just listen closely to the voice inside and you'll know when your NO fits!

Oh Give Thanks!

Thanksgiving is upon us!  I love this time of year.  It can be overwhelming if you don't take control.  Many people get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of making things happen for everyone else that they forget to take the time to breathe in all the little moments that occur all around us.  I've been guilty of this so many times.  I'm learning, with each new year, to take it all in...even the craziness...especially the craziness.  I do my share of hosting the families and baking and cooking until I have food dye in my fingernails and running mascara from all the onion cutting.  I wouldn't trade one stained nail or one tear shed for all of it!  I LOVE IT!!!


Take the time to renew old traditions and start new ones with those you love.  Don't get stuck in the rut or humdrum of  this just being another year.  Make this one different!  Make a difference!  Start with yourself!  


I'm so thankful for it all!!!  YES, even the bad stuff!  If I hadn't experienced the pain of rejection, I wouldn't know the warm feeling of acceptance.  If I hadn't felt the pain of loss, I wouldn't know what it feels like to live in abundance.  If I hadn't let go of things that were holding me back, I wouldn't be able to rejoice in the new and fresh things that are propelling me towards my Destiny!


It is the sum ingredients of the GUMBO that I call my Life!  A little bit of everything.  I've experienced it all, but I'm thankful that NONE of it has taken me out!  I'm still standing!  I'm stronger than ever!  I'm happier than I've ever been and more excited about my future than I could ever put into words!  I could have given up many times, but I practiced the Words of David...'I encouraged myself in the Lord!'.


Encourage yourself this Holiday!  Don't let the Scrooge Spirit come and steal the Spirit of God that resides on the inside of  youl!  Give Thanks! We all have something to be thankful for.  Your situation is no worse than someone else's, so plant your feet, hold your head up high, put a smile on your face and GIVE THANKS!  This year is almost over and a New Year awaits with even greater opportunities and a fresh start.  The way you go into something new, rests on the attitude of the way you left the former.


Oh, Give Thanks!

I'm Living in a NEW ERA!

The alarm went off this morning at  7 a.m., I rolled out of bed threw on my warm-up and tennis shoes.  I grabbed my IPod, earphones and I was out the door.  As I began my walk, I stared to go down the list of 'to do's' for the day/week.  "So what's the date?"  Ok, today is the 8th of November.  I have to do this by the 10th, that by the 15th and then I've got this on the 20th...I was laying out everything, in my head, that needed to be done.  Then it hit me...the 8th...there's something significant about this date, but what is it?  I kept coming back to it, the 8th, the 8th, the 8th...then it hit me!  Today marks the 5 year mark of my divorce.  WOW!  I couldn't believe it!  Not that I couldn't believe it had already been 5 years, but rather that I had forgotten and had to stir up my memory bank to remember why this date was significant.


For me, this is a miracle!  A major accomplishment!  For so long, I dredged my body, mind & soul through the mud and crud of that terrible season of my life...divorce.  I thought I'd never forget anything that happened.  Slowly, but surely, day by day, as I got further away from that season, I forgot.  I let go of one more thing.  I released one more pain, one more hurt, one more bad memory.  It's amazing what time can do.  My Dad told me all along, 'Let time be your best friend'.  I hated it when he told me that, but he was right!  Time had been my friend.  Five years...WOW!


I have found numbers to be symbolic in my life.  I don't live my life according to them, but they have significance to me and meaning at times.  I don't think it's ironic that my divorce was finalized on the 8th, five years ago.  Five is the number of completion and Eight is the number of NEW BEGINNINGS!  I am celebrating today complete wholeness!  I can honestly say, God has healed me from my past!  I'm not bitter, I'm not angry, I don't hate anyone...I'm healed!  I'm so glad, that I didn't rush out and marry the first person to come into my life after my divorce, and I'm so glad I didn't settle for what was in my life at that time.  I've waited and allowed TIME to be my friend.  Oh, I haven't done everything right, and I've made many mistakes along the way, but, I never let those mistakes define me or defeat me.  I always picked myself back up and start over.


I have a wonderful relationship with an amazing man now!  I couldn't have this peaceful and trusting relationship if I hadn't gone through all the JUNK I had to go through, alone.  I needed those years to get rid of the baggage I carried.  Now, I'm in a NEW ERA!  Not a new season.  You see, seasons come & go, but an era, now that's longer!  This ERA of my life will catapult me into my ultimate DESTINY!


Don't let life push you to rushing into something that isn't meant to be.  TIME!  Let TIME be your friend.  Know how to be comfortable with being alone.  Know how to make your own decisions.  Know what your personal 'likes & dislikes' are and have your own friends.  Know what makes you 'tick' and don't settle for anything less than God's BEST!


It's time we stop living from Season to Season and start living in a NEW ERA!

'Tis the Season...It's YOUR Season!

'Tis the season...the Holidays are upon us! Every year about this time I get nostalgic.  I love the holidays!  Growing up it was so much fun!  Family, Food, Giving, Receiving....as a child, I was more excited about what I was getting.  As an adult, I look forward to giving so much more.  


I know it's been a tough year for so many, and the year isn't over yet.  I hope that despite the economy and the financial and physical struggles that so many have had to face, that somewhere within we can all find a little seed of hope from which to build.  I have an expectancy for GREAT things!  I'm believing for unprecedented miracles this season.  I'm pledging to STRETCH my FAITH this season and BELIEVE for favor!


After coming through the greatest storm of my life, I remember the loneliness of the holidays past.  I grieved through so many of them I've lost count.  Once I found myself again, and started building something new, I've come to realize that I wasted so much time and energy grieving for something that was not meant to be.  I was praying for something God was trying to release me from.  A 'tug of war', so to speak.  Once I let go, a freshness awaited me that I can't explain.  I had to let go of old traditions and start new ones.  I had to let go of the familiar and focus on a new path.  It's been a ReBirth!  An exciting time for me and my family.  Scary at times, but rewarding!  


I encourage you this season, to 'let go' of the past.  Maybe some of you are going through a separation, divorce, or maybe it's a first Holiday season without a loved one.  Whatever your lot,  pledge to let go of the way some things used to be and start some fresh and new traditions that will pave the way for the BRIGHT future that awaits!


'Tis the Season...It's YOUR Season!  Make it FRESH, make it HAPPY, make it YOURS!!!